Jon Wood

Who do I need to talk to for the Natural History Museum to be turned into a Hitman level? Dropping a whale skeleton on the target. Adjusting the t-Rex so it leans over and eats them. Dropping them in a vast jar of preserving fluid. There are so many possibilities!

My parent’s are in the priority assistance list for things like the water outage we had this week. In a display of utter incompetence Southern Water delivered bottled water to them a day after the mains supply was restored.

Still more enjoyable than Twitter by Meta.

I’m constantly forgetting Threads is a social media thing so whenever people mention it I think of the harrowing 80s TV film.

@anon_opin alright, Nigel.

@ludicity @jackeric this has also been my experience. The beginning is almost like magic, and then you’ll hit an issue the LLM can’t solve and be completely stumped because you have no idea what any of this code does and how it works.

A large chunk of Southampton and surrounding areas is currently without running water after a failure at the water works. Current projection is that Southern Water hope to have it fixed “by the weekend”. It’s given me a new appreciation for being able to just turn on a tap and have water come out of it.

We need an armistice on [Insert Thing Here] Wrapped. It’s got out of control. Music, games, films, books, money, grocery shopping, even the company I buy train tickets through has jumped on the band wagon. No more.

Why are Wikipedia constantly reminding me of the date and time? Am I late for something? I’m late aren’t I.

@muan @jackeric I’ve been to both the US and China. Chinese customs was infinitely more pleasant than US.

@misty a PM must have their annual review coming up and was way down on the mobile app engagement metric.

This is genius.

@fesshole today in terrible ideas that will end in unpleasant ways news.

@hbuchel the purpose of a side project is to satisfy your curiosity for some aspect of that side project. Once it’s done that its purpose is complete and you can abandon it guilt free, that’s the joy of a side project.

@anon_opin ahh, I see you’ve watched my attempts at playing Hitman.

@pikesley kind of surprised you don’t own that entire outfit already tbh.

@lappenjammer @anon_opin “new formula” also universally means “your son with a variety of food intolerances can no longer eat this”.

@tychotithonus @pascoda I’m Jon Wood, and once worked with Jon Ward. We were constantly redirecting emails sent to the wrong one of us.

@fesshole it does. Because now they have a security incident with the accompanying ton of paperwork to do.

@acarsdrama HAD BEANS FOR DINNER, ABSOLUTELY RIPPING.

Here is a video of a lady kissing different shelter dogs to see how they react, if you need a palate cleanser:

@pikesley that story very much reinforced my belief that the big four auditing accounts will just rubber stamp anything.

@jackeric remind me not to let the Altoona police see anything I’ve said or written in the last few decades.

@anon_opin try telling that to anyone who’s spent all day making a beef wellington.

I particularly enjoyed the opening disclaimer which as well the usual “nothing here is based on real people or events” statement also makes it very clear they believe Nazis are bad, and should be beaten up. Just in case going to the moon to shoot Hitler in Wolfenstein 2 didn’t make that clear enough.